Our Problem

If the world does really run on balance, and if there is supposed to be balance constantly throughout, then I believe now is the time when it needs to be stopped, organized and jerked into balance, or soon, it is going to topple. The extremes have become too pointed and tolerance is either absent or completely present. The divide between right and wrong has failed and morality seems to be melting away with the ice caps. Human beings- the only living organisms on the earth that could bring about physical, chemical, social, and even spiritual changes on, above and below the surface of the earth- have moved so much further with this change making process, that they refused to stop, and going even further, now they find it impossible to stop. The change has become inevitable. And with this, the subtle, simple, peacefulness in knowing the meaning and reason behind actual living is changing too, and slowly losing its substance. Today, man knows not why he really lives. The reasons he has are given to him by older generations to remold, cut or add. Life is not simply eating, growing, and procreating. It is developing, complicating, altering, and manipulating every aspect of itself- without knowing if it is for the better or the worse.

Before I ask myself where do we go from here, a more pressing question comes: where do we stand right now? We are a civilization at the peak of cultural, intellectual, and scientific development, but when it comes to morality, we are running an all-time low record. Humanity, meaning to all that one does, compassion and love… All these things stand unimportant and a symbol of the weak.  Today this world knows more blood that millenniums put together. The reason for this is partly and primarily more people that in millenniums put together. For some a good life is to be rich, be able to afford expensive luxuries and intoxications for the relaxed and good, happy life. For others, it is to protect their legacy, to save and sustain what they have got from their elders and has been passed down to them as their identity, and thus even their faith. This protection takes place at the expense of other legacies, other identities and faiths. For some more others, it is the accumulation of enough for nothing. They enter a game of greed and keep revolving in its vicious circle until they reach its core, building a maze on the way, taking a larger group of followers, and never again being able to get out of it, unless everything is destroyed to the ground, including themselves. And for a larger some others, it is the fight between the two ends of the sun, to be able to gulp down a morsel of food, to achieve a clean cup of water and to be able to face the skies with dignity.

Yes, we are taught that we live in a society. And that we have interactive lives which will only be possible if we live together and in organization with this social order, following it, and being an active part of it. But the truth is, every being of this so called social order lives only for him. He fights with a conscience every single moment of his day and chooses his actions for fulfilling the needs of that person inside him- that person who constantly asks for something, who constantly keeps questioning. The flip side is that this person on the inside is always so utterly confused that he keeps looking outside for answers. That is how, slowly, one accepts the ways of the world around him. And slowly loses him to that world and becomes a part of it finally.

No. Every person was born to make his own legacy. Every person is meant to live alone - for himself and every person is supposed to find his answers inside his own person. Human beings are born as individuals. They are meant to live on their own, because they all have their own minds and their own needs to fulfill. They ought not to let the world decide their needs and they ought not to follow others through achieving their own ends. The crowd mentality- the one that follows is not for this species of beings.

Our problem is that. We follow. We do not think. We care what the world has to say. We care how we are judged and we worry we will be judged wrong. How wrong? Well, we let the world decide that too. And so, a downtrodden does not think twice before picking up a gun- he is taught that is the right thing to do. And so also, a millionaire wants to become a billionaire by every mean he can. And so also, a religious man becomes a fundamentalist. Our problem is that, some time ago, a few people created a few ways and handed down the maps to us and we on our part, took the maps and walked down the same ways- only widening then, flattening them and making them more comfortable. Our problem is that we doubled and tripled ourselves and all walked down the same roads together and lead ourselves to a chaos because, the maps did show the ways but blanked out towards the end of the ways. These wide, flattened, comfortable ways on which we all walk now are leading us nowhere and if somewhere, then we don’t know where….

And this is our solution. We need to complete the maps. We need to draw the ends and we need to create branches and forks to these ways so that every person can choose by himself, for himself. These forks are to be based on rationalism, understanding and clarity of thought. We need to stop following and start leading- ourselves first. We need to think, we need to be individuals and primarily humane individuals. We only then can be citizens of a greater social order. And we can be that way with peace and meaning. And live for what we are truly meant to life.

The balance of the world has shaken. And slowly we are toppling. We need to stop and introspect. We need to find out who we are, where we really stand. And should not need to figure out vaguely, but decide clearly where we are going from here.

As the great religions of the world may believe, I do not know if the human race awaits a messiah to bring this balance back. But I do know that in every person with a thinking mind and a dream to live is the ability to bring a balance in their own life. And thus save us from the fall.

I may be absolutely wrong or faultily correct. But all I am doing is seeking the answers inside. 

Her Story

                         She was scared. She was a dreamer who had stopped trusting her dreams. She was a good heart. But had not always been right. She had stopped making decisions. She smiled often. But for months now, her smile did not reach her eyes. She was a stone- being knocked by random feet. She worked, but found no meaning in it. When someone asked her name, she told. But it gave her the feeling of having introduced another person. The self in the body was not hers anymore.

                          She had learnt loss. She had also accepted it, giving up the one thing she ha always lived by- her confidence. She had the same problems as the rest of the world, and her ways of solving them were same as the rest of the world.

                          She cried sometimes, but not knowing why, she stopped. She felt pain as a physical heart ache. But she had no answer for what actually pained her. She had a lot to rejoice: she was loved and cared for. She was invited everywhere. She got all the gifts the world had to offer. She even had talent, luck and a perfect ambition.

                          But she had forgotten ways of returning the love. She took the care for granted. She did not go to the places she was invited. And she never really wanted the gifts of the world. She stopped polishing her talent and stopped walking towards her perfect ambition.

                          She was stuck. She kept looking at the world around with wide eyes. The world gave her the confidence, the wonderful experiences, her own values and ideas and it gave her Love. This same world today seemed distant, strange and wrong. Because it had finally revealed its greatest and dirtiest truth to her. And after everything, she refused to accept the Truth.

                           And so she stood there. Stuck. She could not go back and she would not go ahead. She found the meaning and refused to understand it. Time, the greatest healer could not heal her; not this time, not ever.

                            Then one evening, getting out of yet another class, she saw a tiny figure. Walking as if in another world, that tiny girl, faintly seemed familiar. As she stepped slowly down the alley, she got pushed and fell. Her bag split, and the contents on the road. The kid stayed that way for a moment. Then she sat up, and looked around herself. Resigned. She did not move. Just looked.

                             She moved fast and at the next breath, she was beside the little girl. With a momentary glance, she began gathering the books  and pens. The little one stood up. “Are you hurt? Is everything okay?” The kid nodded. And in a flash, a tearful eye said thank you. Bag on her shoulder, eyes up ahead, she walked away, into the world she came from.

She kept looking at the tiny figure. And after long, she looked at herself. She walked to her bike. And when she switched it on, she made her first decision in months. She shall pick up her own pieces. She shall forgive herself. She shall live again.

                              She accelerated. And she took decision after decision. Hers was a mind waiting to work again. It was on fire- working, thinking and moving faster, and more clear than ever before. She thanked her mind. She thanked herself. She was grateful she had a bike, which she raced about the beautiful city she loved. She was grateful for the black sweater she wore. She was as warm and cozy as a baby in bed. She was grateful that she was there, sitting on the bike, wearing the sweater, as she felt air go inside and come out of her- she was breathing. And she aware of it. She was aware of her being, her own name, her body, its beauty, her femininity, her humanity.

                                And then, she smiled. If you met any person who went past her that evening, on that bike, wearing that black sweater, and smiling, they would tell you that it was the most beautiful picture they ever saw. She smiled and it was what her eyes did. She smiled and that was what every person looking at her at that moment did. At that moment, she lived.

She smiled and smiled at the trailer before her. And she was smiling when it struck her. The bike toppled out of the way. The life was pushed on the side walk, struck in a moment, and in another it was not there.

                                She lay there, wearing the bloody black sweater, her bike in splinters. She may have not even realized the pain. She was dead when she finally lived.